


Oh God, I'm Going To Die Alone

by fallingintoplace



Series: Darkness Finds You [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Depression, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!, MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS!!!!!!, Please be safe, Self-Harm, Suicide, Why Did I Write This?, please don't read if easily triggered.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 11:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7506780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingintoplace/pseuds/fallingintoplace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A late at night phone call between Frank and Gerard.<br/>Warning: Frank is severely depressed and this story will cover topics such as suicide and self-harm. Please read at your own risk and please please please stay safe. I'm sorry if I trigger anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh God, I'm Going To Die Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Please be careful. I want you all to stay safe.

Gerard had just put down his phone when it buzzed. He picked it up and saw it was Frank again.

 **Hey can i call u??** Gerard typed out a hurried yes. Frank never called him unless something was wrong. The last time he remembered Frank calling him was when he heard that his parents were getting divorced. Even then, the ever stoic Frank barely cried. The moment his phone rang he snatched it up and answered.

“Hey, Frank. What’s up?”

“Gerard, I’m so scared.” Frank’s voice wavered as he spoke.

“What’s wrong, Frank?”

“I can’t stop, tell me to stop, why am I not stopping?” Gerard was seriously worried at this point.

“Frank, what’s going on?”

“I-I don’t want to tell you.”  
            “Frank, I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why isn’t it hurting enough? It needs to hurt; I deserve the pain. Oh god, why can’t I die?” Frank rambled on. Gerard felt dread in the pit of his stomach.

            “Frank, are you _hurting_ yourself?” Gerard knew that Frank had self-harmed in the past but he thought that Frank had stopped.

            “Yeah,” came the whimpered reply. “I’m so sorry, Gerard. I couldn’t help it, I needed to. Gerard, I’m such a fuck-up, I don’t deserve to live.”

            “Frank! Stop thinking like that! Everyone deserves to live and that includes you.” Gerard’s voice softened. “And, Frank, I don’t think you’re a fuck-up. I think you’re perfect the way you are.”

            “Why are you lying to me?” Frank sobbed. “You’re lying, everyone lies, why do they tell me things that aren’t true? I _know_ I’m bad, no good, so fucking terrible.” Gerard heard him gasp slightly in pain.  
            “Please, Frank. I’m not lying to you, I love you. Stop hurting yourself. It’s not worth it.” Gerard was starting to cry, too. “Frank, put down the blade.”

            “I can’t! It helps, feels so good, takes the pain away.” His heart ached. “I’m so sorry, Gee.” He heard shuffling in the background, and the rattle of a pill bottle came faintly from the background.

            “NO! Frank, what are you doing? Please stop. I need you.”

            “Gee, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t, please let me go!”

            “I’m not going to do that. I love you more than you could ever know and you _will_ stay, I’m not going to let you kill yourself.”

            “Why do you love me? I’m not worth it.”

            “Frank, to me you’re the brightest star in the sky, outshining all the others. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You are the first thing I think when I wake up and the last I think before I go to bed. I love you so much it sometimes hurts. I love you so much.”

            “But I don’t deserve it. I’m so weak, worthless, no good, stupid, depress-”

            “But you aren’t weak,” Gerard interrupted. “You’re the strongest person I know.”

            “I am weak. What reason do I have to be sad? Nothing bad has happened to me, I’m just weak!”  
            “You don’t need a reason to be depressed! It can happen to anyone. Frank, you’re so strong, you’re able to handle these thoughts for god knows how long, alone, but now I’m here to help you. We’ll get through this together, okay, Frank?”

            “I shouldn’t have called you, I should’ve known you’d get involved. I just wanted to say goodbye.”  
            “You’re not going anywhere, Frank. I’m going to call the hospital, okay? Stay on the phone, I’m going to grab the landline.”

            “No, please don’t, Gee!”

            “I got to, Frank, I love you too much to let you kill yourself.” Gerard got up, taking his cellphone with him, and padded down to the kitchen. He dialed 911 and explained to the operator that he was worried that his friend was going to kill himself. He heard Frank babbling in the background, talking about how terrible he was, how he didn’t deserve to live, on and on about his worthlessness. One thing stood out.

            “Goodbye, Gee.”

            “No, Frank, no! Please don’t leave me, the ambulance is on its way, you’re going to be fine, I love you!”

            “I’m so sorry, Gee, it’s too late.”

            “What did you do?”  
            “I took a bunch of pills, a full bottle of Tylenol. I’m so tired, Gee.”

            “Stay awake, please try, for me? What am I supposed to do without you?”  
            “You’ll find someone new. Someone better than me.” Frank’s voice was getting quieter and quieter.

            “I don’t want someone else, I want you! I love you.”

            “I love you, too, I’m so sorry.” The phone clicked. Frank had hung up.

**Author's Note:**

> If you ever ever ever feel suicidal, call one of these numbers.  
> National Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255  
> Teen Call/Text hotline: (310) 855-4673  
> LGBT Hotline: 1-866-488-7386  
> Again, please stay safe and you can always leave a comment on one of my stories and I can talk to you. I'm not a professional, but I understand.


End file.
